


When You Can't Sleep At Night

by pcrrycox



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-22 11:14:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/912538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcrrycox/pseuds/pcrrycox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick never forgot about her, not for a minute. She was always there in the back of his mind, regardless of whether or not he wanted her there. When the song that reminds him of her comes on the radio, it all goes downhill, and Pete takes it upon himself to make things better for his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Grand Theft Autumn

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Patrick-centric fic inspired by Of Mice & Men's song "When You Can't Sleep At Night."

“Miles away I can still feel you lay your head down on my –”   
Patrick held his breath and blinked as the song played over the speakers in his car. He was driving to lunch with the guys, where they would discuss their formal announcement of their return from hiatus when he was flipping through radio stations, searching for something bearable to listen to. When that song came on, it was like a slap in the face. It brought him back to a time when Fall Out Boy was brand new and it felt like he had his entire life in front of him. He was just barely nineteen and the band was actually going places. They were in the process of writing and recording their first studio album. He was madly in love with a girl he often envisioned spending the rest of his days with. Everything seemed right. 

“Patrick, we need to talk,” Autumn sighed, avoiding Patrick's eyes.  
“What do we need to talk about?” Patrick asked hesitantly, joining Autumn on her bed and taking her hand in his.   
“Us,” she breathed, finally meeting Patrick's eyes with her own tear-filled brown ones. “This isn't working anymore. I can't. . .” She ducked her head and concentrated on the pattern of her comforter.  
Patrick was completely taken aback. “Autumn, I love you,” Patrick whispered, taking her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you!”  
“How do you think you can do when you're gone for weeks at a time in the studio and when you are home, I barely see you? That's not how a relationship works! I need you here, and I know that the band is important to you, but I'm not one of those girls that can just sit and wait for you to come home for a few days. I don't want to hold you back, 'Trick. That's not who I am. So that's why I have to let you go.” By the end of her speech, there were tears rolling down her face and she still couldn't bear to look at Patrick's face.  
Patrick was stunned. What could he say? Everything she had said was the truth. He was gone for extended amounts of time and that wasn't fair to her, but still. . . . There had to be a way to make it work. Love always found a way, didn't it?  
“You're right,” he conceded, “but I can't just let you go. You're everything tome.”  
Autumn shook her head, not bothering to wipe her tears away as they were still coming. “Your music is everything to you.” Patrick opened his mouth, but Autumn continued. “It is and you shouldn't deny it. There's nothing wrong with that. Just don't try to tell me that I mean more to you than the band. I'm not holding anything against you. I want you to do well – I don't want to hold you back.”  
“You're not holding me back,” Patrick insisted. “Come with me to the studio next time.”  
“That's not how it works. I'd only get in the way and make things weird for the other guys. Just let me go, 'Trick.” She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Patrick's lips. She pulled back a few inches, her eyes still closed, tears still flowing. “Let me go.”

Before he really realized it, Patrick was at the restaurant and though he felt slightly more present, he felt off. He always did whatever he could to avoid thinking about her. She was his greatest regret and the song had brought it all back. It had been their song, the one song with which they both connected. But he wasn't supposed to think about it. So he shook his head and rolled his shoulders as if to rid all thoughts of her from his mind and proceeded into the restaurant.  
It turned out though, that less than five minutes into the meal, Andy had asked him twice if he was okay, Joe once, and Pete kept side-eyeing him, which was starting to piss Patrick off.   
“Can I help you?” Patrick finally blurted out, glaring at Pete.  
Pete looked slightly hurt, and Patrick immediately felt bad. “I . . . are you okay, man?”   
“I'm sorry,” Patrick sighed, placing his face in his hands. “I'm just having an off day. I shouldn't be taking it out on you, though.”  
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Pete asked, his expression softening slightly.   
Patrick shook his head. “No, I'm fine. Let's get down to business.”

An hour and a half later, the details of the reveal had been worked out and the guys went their separate ways. Less than twenty minutes after Patrick got home, he received a text from none other than Pete.  
Movie night?   
Patrick sighed. He really didn't feel like entertaining Pete at the moment.  
Not tonight, Pete.   
There was a knock at the door and almost simultaneously, Patrick got another text.   
Too bad.  
“You know,” Patrick said, standing at his door, “I don't have to let you in.”  
“You're right,” Pete's muffled voice came from the other side. “You didn't have to give me a key either, but I guess you didn't think that one through.”  
Patrick grumbled under his breath when he heard Pete fiddling with the lock. He ended up unlocking the door for Pete anyway, because apparently the guy was incapable of putting a key into a lock.   
“Damn it, Pete, I said not tonight,” Patrick groaned as Pete stumbled through the doorway with a stack of rented movies under one arm and two family-sized bags of M&Ms under the other.   
“And that's exactly why I came over – so you can tell me what's going on while we pig out on M&Ms and watch politically incorrect movies.”  
Patrick ignored Pete and made his way to his living room and slumped down onto the couch. Pete sat down in a leather armchair next to the couch and stared at Patrick. Patrick, who was almost always bright and upbeat and occasionally annoyingly positive. Something pretty heavy must have happened to make him so upset.  
“Talk to me, Patrick.”  
Patrick sighed and grabbed a bag of M&Ms. “Autumn.”  
“Shit, Patrick. I thought you got over her a long time ago. You seemed good.”  
Patrick shrugged. “I never really got over her. She was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. 'When You Can't Sleep At Night' came on today on the way to the restaurant.”  
Pete nodded. “Ah,” he said knowingly.   
After Autumn had broken up with Patrick, he had told Pete everything, and Pete had been the best friend Patrick could've ever asked for. He was sensitive when he needed to be and tried to take Patrick's mind off everything. He even included her name in the title off one of the songs on their first studio album, hoping it would be a coping mechanism rather than a painful reminder, and he had thought it'd worked.   
Patrick kept his head down, concentrating on squeezing the life out of the M&M he was holding between his thumb and forefinger.  
“Hey,” said Pete, “no need to kill the candy.” Not even a chuckle.  
“I still love her, Pete.”  
“I know, buddy. I know.” Pete flashed a sympathetic, sad smile. “What are we gonna do with you, Patrick?”  
“I wish I had the answer to that question. But forget about it. Let's just watch a movie, okay?”  
“You sure?” Pete asked, his brows furrowing.  
Patrick nodded insistently. “I don't want to dwell on it. I want to forget about it, about her.”  
“Okay,” Pete agreed, and put one of the discs into the DVD player. If Patrick didn't want to talk about her, he couldn't make him, but he didn't all together agree with Patrick's decision to just basically shove his feelings back down because they were inconvenient. That wasn't Patrick. But nevertheless, Pete decided to let it slide for the night. After all, one night couldn't hurt, but he had an idea brewing that he wasn't about to clue Patrick in on any time soon.


	2. You Know You Should Take It A Day At A Time

As far as Pete could tell, for the past few months, Patrick had been doing well. They had come off hiatus and had released their new album, which was being highly praised by critics and fans alike. They were playing small shows here and there and doing loads of radio and television interviews. Strangely, it felt pretty good to be back in the spotlight. Fall Out Boy were back, and Patrick was smiling again. He'd had a bit of a rough patch in February, but either he wasn't letting it show or he was actually doing better. Pete had wrestled with his idea for weeks on end before going to Megan with it. When he had briefly explained the situation to her, she had broken out into a smile.   
“You really are romantic, aren't you?” she grinned, kissing him on the cheek.   
Pete shrugged. “It doesn't matter if I'm romantic or not. What matters is if this will work or not.”  
“Well, if I was Patrick, it'd work on me,” Meagan said. Her tone shifted, taking on a serious tone. “What you're doing for him, I think it's amazing. You're a great friend, Pete.”  
“Then he owes me for what I'm about to do,” Pete laughed. He kissed Meagan again before turning to his laptop and getting to work.

“What do you need to talk to me about so badly?” Andy asked, sitting down across from Pete. They were at a table that was as far away from where Patrick was sitting as humanly possible.   
“Ssh,” Pete hissed, glancing between Andy and Patrick rapidly.  
“Did you kill someone?”  
“No. Okay, so you know how Patrick was acting really weird and upset right around the reveal?”  
Andy nodded. “Did he end up telling you what was up?”  
“Yeah. It was Autumn,” Pete explained, and then launched into a quick explanation of what had happened so many years ago.  
“And he's still got it this bad? He's dated other people.”  
“I think he dated those girls to take his mind off her. But I have a plan.”  
Andy looked at Pete with a raised eyebrow. “I think you and I both know that your plans aren't always the best.”  
Pete gasped. “I'm hurt, Andrew!”  
“Oh, shut up. Continue.”  
Pete chuckled before becoming businesslike again. “Anyway, my plan is already in motion, so there's no stopping it now. I tracked down Autumn, and she's coming to the show tonight. Well, she'll be here after the show, rather.”  
“Pete, I don't think that's such a good idea . . .,” Andy said slowly.  
“Bear with me here. I'm gonna have her wait until everyone is out of the venue and then I'll think of something to get Patrick to go back out onstage, and he'll see her, and then – get a load of this,” Pete could barely hold back his excitement and a giggle escaped – “I'm gonna play their song.”  
“No, Pete, I'm telling you, this is a really bad idea. It's best to just let him move on.”  
“He's had ten years to move on. If he was gonna, he would've done it a long time ago. And we can't have a miserable singer. I'm telling you, this is a really good idea. Foolproof.”  
Andy scoffed. “Foolproof, I don't think so. I just hope that not only for Patrick's sake, but for all of ours, this works.”

“Ready?” Patrick asked in a breathless voice.   
The three other guys nodded, and Patrick couldn't help but smile. For once, everything felt right.  
“WELCOME, IT'S HERE!”  
Andy's drums sounded through The Rave and Joe, Patrick, and Pete joined in on their guitars and bass, respectively. Patrick stepped up to the mic, taking in all the faces before him. Some had tears running down their faces and all of them were smiling. They were back. The tour had officially started.  
When they hit the chorus of “Thriller,” there were fans holding up signs saying “Long Live the Car Crash Hearts” and Pete pointed at a few of them, a huge smile on his face. There were cell phones and cameras in the air and Patrick realized that the feeling of a concert never really did get old. The fans echoed him and hands were in the air, moving along to the music. The atmosphere could scarcely be explained. That was one thing he liked about smaller venues as opposed to arenas. This was much more intimate, more united. When “Thriller” ended, they moved right into the next song and the mosh pits started. Patrick did tend to worry a little about the fans, hoping none of them got too hurt, but he pushed the thought from his mind. Focus on the music. And focus on the music he did. He lost himself in it and reveled in the sound of hundreds of people singing the words along with him.   
All was silent for a few seconds before Patrick stepped back up to the microphone. They were halfway through the show, and they were about to start their next song.  
“Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won't find out what I know. You were the last good thing about this part of town.”  
The guitars and drums that followed were deafening and the fans went crazy, some of them holding up their diamonds as Pete had directed them long ago. Patrick's mind wandered from the music and lyrics he knew so well and went to her again. The song was for her, after all. Pete was looking at him again. Don't think about her, don't think about her.   
“You okay?” Pete whispered in his ear when they did their signature move, playing with their heads on each other's shoulder.   
“'M fine,” Patrick answered they both went back to their mics, and Patrick nodded his head to the beat.

In the back of the venue, sitting at one of the bars, was a petite woman with short, spiked black hair. There was a single streak of red in her bangs, and her expression was unreadable. The bartender called to her over the music, asking if she wanted anything else, to which she shook her head.  
“Not a fan?” laughed the bartender.  
“The song just brings back a lot of memories,” she said in response, her voice carrying over the blaring noise.  
The bartender nodded and went to grab a bottle of water for an incoming fan that looked overheated. 

“Dude! That was fucking sick!” Pete yelled once they all got offstage.   
Even Patrick was smiling from ear to ear, and Andy clapped him on the back. “Great job tonight!”  
“I guess they still like us,” Patrick laughed.  
“You think?” Joe joined in.  
“I'm gonna shower real quick,” Patrick said and headed back toward the showers. He emerged about ten minutes later, hair damp and fedora in hand.   
“Oh, hey, Patrick, I forgot I wanted to ask you about the lighting arrangements onstage,” Pete said casually, motioning Patrick to follow him back to the stage.   
“Okay,” Patrick said, following Pete and thinking nothing of it.  
“So, they have them set up like that,” Pete said once they were standing near the rear of the stage, pointing up at the back wall. “And they shine just above the balcony,” he said, taking Patrick's shoulders and turning him to face the floor of the venue. He let go of Patrick and saw him tense when he saw the figure in the middle of the floor. Pete slipped offstage, hiding in the curtains.  
The person standing on the floor was short and Patrick could only make out the silhouette, but he assumed it was a woman from the way her body curved in all the right places. Her hair looked short and spiky and she looked to be staring back at him. The purple glow from the roof of The Rave was casting an ethereal glow on the floor and her outline almost seemed to pulse with the light.  
“Who's there?” Patrick asked, looking back to Pete only to realize he was gone. Patrick's feeling of unease increased.  
The woman stepped closer to the stage, coming toward Patrick until the lights from the stage shone on her. Patrick froze the moment he could make out her features. The ten years since he had seen her had been nothing but kind to her.   
“Autumn.”


End file.
